Walter needed a nice birthday gift for his wife, Jenny. She loved antiques, so Walter visited a nearby antique shop – and there it was…
“Good afternoon, sir.”
“Hi – how much is the grandfather’s clock?”
“We call them long case clocks, sir.”
“Whatever. My wife’s always wanted one. How much is it?”
“Ah – well, that particular model is quite well sought after…”
“Eight hundred and fifty pounds, sir.”
“Wow. I didn’t realize… okay. Can you deliver it?”
“Certainly, sir. But I’m afraid that will be an extra one hundred and twenty-five pounds.”
“A HUNDRED AND… but I only live two streets away.”
“Yes sir – but I’m afraid that’s our flat rate. You see, we do not have our own vehicle – so we have to rent one for the day, then hire a chap, then secure the item into the…”
“Yeah, yeah. Look – do you have a piece of rope?”
“I think we may have some out the back…”
So having paid for the clock, Walter got the dealer to tie it to his back. Then he tilted himself forward and told the man to open the door for him.
As he staggered slowly along the pavement, he began regretting his impulsiveness – the cumbersome timepiece was HEAVY. Plus, it bore down on the back of his head, making it hard to see where he was going.
After a few minutes, he reached the crossing at the corner of his street and tried to look both ways. But hampered by the clock, he could only see a few yards in either direction.
Finally, hearing nothing coming, he began crossing the street.
But just then, a boy-racer in a Golf GTI that had seen better days raced around the corner and caught the end of the clock.
BANG! Bits of grandfather clock flew in all directions and Walter was left spinning in the middle of the road, like a deranged top.
Two chaps sitting outside a pub had seen the whole thing.
“Look at the state of that poor chap.”
“I’ve no sympathy for him.”
“Really? Why not?”
“He should have worn a wristwatch, like everyone else.”