Here is a gag anyone with the means to burn a CD (like YOU, on this computer) can do.
First you need a source piece – of which more, later. You put it on “pause” and start recording. Exactly five minutes in, you un-pause the source piece.
What you should now have is a CD that has five minutes of total silence – followed by the source piece. You can write something cheeky on the disk.
Then you trot down to any electrical store that has a large hi-fi department. Walk in and start browsing. If a salesperson asks if they can help you, tell them… whatever – just get rid of them.
Work around to the stereos and select the biggest, most POWERFUL one you can find, that is wired up – but not playing anything. Having checked no-one is watching, put in your CD and turn the volume up to MAXIMUM. If it has a “bass boost” button, push THAT, as well.
Then carry on ambling around the store, keeping an eye on your watch so that when your source piece comes BLASTING out of the stereo – you are near the door.
The salespersons will run around like headless chickens and CHAOS will ensue.
Of course, eventually someone will reach the stereo and turn it off – or at least down. But then, realising they have been PUNKED – they will look around.
At this point, you must be COOL. Adopt the same incredulous look as the store’s other customers. One laugh and they will NAIL you. Also, do not hang around afterwards – at some point, it may occur to someone to check the store’s security cameras…
And whilst it is hard to see what actual LAW you may have broken – you don’t need the store’s rent-a-cops dragging you into their office and GRILLING you, while they try to THINK of one.
Which brings us to that “source material”. The possibilities are endless…
You could just go for the obvious and use the loudest, most obnoxious piece of music you can think of – like ANY Sex Pistols track.
Or you could get creative.
F’rinstance, you could use a VOICE – like a catchphrase, delivered by a well-known comic. If you recorded it over and over – with a ONE MINUTE SILENCE in between – it would drive those salespersons MAD.
Or, if you have the pipes for it, you could use your OWN voice, with an appropriate library track as a musical bed – and make a daft announcement, like “Ladies and gentlemen – may I have your attention – [the name of the store] proudly announces that THIS branch has been chosen for this year’s SURPRISE GIVEAWAY SPECTACULAR – for the next thirty minutes, everything in this store is FREE – if you can CARRY it – it’s YOURS…”
However, with power comes responsibility. If you do that LAST one, make sure the store is not too BUSY – or folks could get trampled in the stampede.
Likewise, a recording of an Adolf Hitler rant would be uproarious most places – but in Germany, they may not see the funny side…
And while SOUND EFFECTS open up a WORLD of comic possibilities – machine-guns and/or explosions may not go down well in a country obsessed with terrorists – like America.
Nevertheless, there are thousands of things that are HILARIOUS when they come BOOMING across the floor of an electrical superstore. Here are a few of this writer’s pieces, which you can download from YouTube…