Much has been written about truth within a relationship – but how much should one tell? I mean, it’s easy to say that any relationship should be based on 100% truth – however, too much can KILL it.
For example – the past. One could argue that the past is past and one should close the book and concentrate on the future – but the past made you who you are today. Like, if you were ADOPTED, your current love’s knowledge of that fact will help them UNDERSTAND you more fully.
But telling them – in graphic detail – every fact about your past loves is guaranteed to KILL your relationship. No-one wants to hear about all THAT. Likewise, we have all done things we are not proud of – but again, pouring it all out to your new life-partner is not going to impress them.
Essentially, one should FILTER the past. Tell the person the IMPORTANT things, leaving OUT one’s personal atrocities. Concentrate on avoiding REPEATING them. LEARN from the past.
But what of the NOW? Well, certainly one should TRY to tell one’s significant other the unvarnished truth. However, one is not perfect. Supposing, in the heat of the moment, one SLIPS? Has a mad fling with someone. Should one ‘fess up to one’s love THEN?
They say a problem shared is a problem halved. But that is because you are DUMPING the problem on someone ELSE. I.e., if they CARE, they will effectively ABSORB part of your pain and guilt. Thus to put THAT onto one’s wronged lover is merely COMPOUNDING one’s transgression.
What one SHOULD do is try to keep the slip to oneself – and vow NEVER TO DO IT AGAIN. Sure, it will gnaw away at you – but it SERVES YOU RIGHT! YOU must carry the burden – not unload half of it onto your wronged better half.
Incidentally – this is all academic for this scribbler. He has not strayed. And he never will – ’cause he is LAZY! Being honest is far less WORK!