I’m 56 now. And what I’m about to say SHOULD be obvious to anyone of my advanced years – but it may be instructive to a younger person.
When I was in my twenties, my peers were only too happy to tell me what was WRONG with me. My clothes were wrong, my taste in music was wrong, etc. And for a while I worried about these shortcomings.
But then one day, while a “friend” was telling me how my taste in music SUCKED, I stopped him and asked him who HE liked. He proceeded to run off a list of then-current pop bands. At which point, the TRUTH began to dawn on me.
After DEMOLISHING his argument by pointing out that my favourite artists covered at least a DOZEN different genres of music, from Sixties Pop and Soul, through Disco (this was the Seventies) Fifties Rock ‘N’ Roll, Classical, Rockabilly, Electronic, Thirties Art Deco, Opera, Orchestral, Rhythm & Blues to Baroque (Eighties New Romantic, Techno and Trance were still YEARS off) while HIS were limited to just ONE genre – I began to realize my peers’ other points were ALSO flawed.
Eventually, I began to see life as it is. You have to like yourself for who you ARE – not try to change yourself into someone ELSE, to suit others. Take a long, objective LOOK at who you are and if the person you see is basically a good chap – or chapess – be happy with THAT.
Basically, when you meet someone, they will have qualities you like – and some you don’t. But instead of trying to CHANGE them, decide whether their good points outweigh their bad. If they do, cultivate that person. If not, dump ’em. After all, the qualities you DON’T like may be just the ones OTHERS will ADMIRE. Meat – poison.
And when someone meets YOU, they can do the same. Which means if you are okay, you’ll have friends. In fact even if you’re NOT okay, you’ll STILL have friends – people who are as screwed up as YOU!
No-one’s perfect – but CHANGE yourself? Bollocks. Life’s too short.